Read About The Afterlife But I Never Really Lived
by Ashimattack
Summary: fun beach days involving drunkohs, dead fish and a shirtless Sasuke. what's not to like?
1. and that is how you catch a fish

**OMG A MULTI CHAPTERED NARUTO FIC!**

**How good am I?**

**Anyways it is all about a day at the beach with the crew...**

**Yeah it's kinda based on days at the beach with my cousins so pretty much everyone is out of character. But also in character enough for it to not just be me telling a story about days at the beach.**

**Because then it would be gross and incest**

**And I'm not into that kind of thing**

**Oh well**

**Whatever**

**Also I'm not very good with the whole 'Hinata = stutter' thing so she won't stutter.**

**Ash**

**---**

Hinata stood on a rock, watching a very drunk Sasuke and Naruto try to catch toadfish with their hands.

She sighed and wondered how she had gotten into this mess.

Then she remembered

**Flashback time!**

'_Hey Hinata! Wanna come to the beach?' come' asked Sakura in a cheerful voice_

_Hinata was astounded that they had asked her and didn't particularly want to go._

_But they never asked her to hang out with them and she kinda wanted to_

'_Who else will be going?' she asked_

'_Well so far we've invited all of our teams but out of them only Kiba wanted to go... well Naruto wants to go but I don't think he can... something important.'_

'_so it'd just be us and Kiba?' asked Hinata._

_That'd be great! If Ino or Sakura decided to ignore her she could just hang out with Kiba_

'_pretty much.. Unless we can convince some more people' said Ino_

'_Well that sounds all right I guess..' said Hinata shyly 'ok I guess I'll come along!'_

'_great we'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early!'_

**End flashback**

Well things hadn't gone to plan.

Naruto had decided at the last minute he would come and had dragged Sasuke along as well, Akamaru had been sick so Kiba couldn't come and Sakura and Ino had ditched her the first chance they got.

So she was forced to hang out with her crush and his –shirtless- best friend.

But that wasn't the worst of it, no.

Naruto had stumbled across some liquor and had somehow (only god knows) gotten Sasuke to drink it.

and now they were both pissed.

And as it turns out Naruto is a quiet shy drunk.

Whereas Sasuke is a loud happy obnoxious drunk

Quite funny actually.

Well Hinata would have found it funny if she didn't feel so goddammed self conscious!

It was too hot to wear a jacket so she was wearing a teeshirt and short shorts.

Yes Hinata feels uncomfortable in this.

She focused her attention back to the drunken genin below her

Sasuke –being drunk and uncoordinated- was quite terrible at catching them whereas Naruto was doing quite well.

'how are you so good at this?' asked Sasuke as Naruto caught his fifth fish

'I dunno, guess I can just think clearly...'

'That's weird man, hey look a fish!' Sasuke clumsily threw a kunai into the water and missed the fish by about a mile 'damn so close too'

'Sasuke if you want to catch the fish why don't you try using your hands?' asked Hinata, speaking for the first time in a while

Sasuke looked up at her as if suddenly noticing she was there

'hello! Are you my fangirl? Would you like an autograph or something? How about watching me sexily catch a fish...' Sasuke said

'Sasuke! That's Hinata! You know her and she's one of the non-crazy ones... wait, ARE YOU CRAZY HINATA?!' yelled Naruto

When I said he was being shy I meant he was being shy around Sakura, he was fine around Hinata and Sasuke

Hinata blushed

'Not that I know of?' she said *coughLIARcough*

'good! Then come help us catch fish! You just stand in the water, wait patiently for one to come and then BAM!' Sasuke threw a kunai into the water and completely missed the fish that had swum past when he began his little speech.

He then looked up proudly

'and that is how you catch a fish'

Hinata stared at him blankly but decided to try and catch a fish so she jumped from her rock onto a lower rock and walked into the water.

'ok!' said Sasuke 'now that you are in the water you must become like.. Invisible or something? To catchy the fishy!'

'Dude its fishy the catchy!' said Naruto stifling a laugh

'no I'm pretty certain it's just catch the fish..' Hinata couldn't resist playing with them

Sasuke's face screwed up with obvious concentration

'ok..'

Hinata couldn't suppress a giggle, if only his fan girls could see him now...

He'd get raped so badly

_actually... _she thought, looking over at Naruto _that isn't such a bad idea..._

she mentally scolded herself for thinking stuff like that.

_But he would look so hot if he took off his shirt..._

Sasuke had already been splashed by a fish and abandoned his shirt and was currently looking extremely sexy.

Good thing Sakura and Ino weren'_t _here.

'are you gonna catch a fish or are you just gonna stare at Naruto?' asked Sasuke loudly

Hinata blushed manically and suddenly had a thought

'why are you guys trying to catch fish anyway? You can't eat toadfish'

Sasuke stared at her as though she was extremely dumb

Even when off his face he still somehow had a way of making you feel small

'of course we aren't going to eat them silly poodle. We are relocating them to our wildlife rescue park...'

'wildlife rescue park?'

'well it's more of a rock pool...' Sasuke continued as though Hinata hadn't interrupted

'can't he fish find their way back?' asked Hinata doubtfully

'of course not! Then they'd get out...'

'oh.. sounds... good?'

'yep. Now shut up and catch fish.'

About half an hour later Naruto had caught 2 more fish –and let one go-, Sasuke had surprisingly caught one and Hinata –the only sober one of the group- hadn't caught any.

Well to be honest with you she wasn't really trying

She didn't particularly want to pick up a toadfish.

'ok lets head back to the wildlife rescue park!' said Naruto and they started climbing up the rocks towards the rock pool, only to find that the tide had come in and they had gotten out!

'NOO!' shouted Sasuke and Naruto in Unisom 'we must find a new park for these two! But we must do it fast or they will die!'

So they searched for a while.

During that time Sasuke's fish attempted to escape by flopping around and succeeded in nearly killing himself.

'I shall call him, emo!' said Sasuke proudly

Naruto looked at his fish.

'Stupid fish! Why don't you do any tricks?!'

'you should call it fatty' said Sasuke

'why fatty?'

'because I named mine after me... also it is kinda fat' said Sasuke

And he was correct. It was a teeny bit on the festively plump side

'ok it's gonna be called fatty!' said Naruto, not picking up that Sasuke had just insulted him

Actually, Hinata wasn't even sure if Sasuke knew he had insulted him.

They eventually found a new rock pool and put emo and fatty in it.

'now what do we do?' asked Hinata

'well you haven't actually caught one yet' said Naruto

'yes you haven't' said Sasuke, not actually making any sense

'well guys.. maybe we should go find Ino and Sakura?' said Hinata, hoping to change the subject

'yeah but not until you at least pick up a fish' said Naruto

Hinata looked down at fatty and emo deciding which one to pick up.

She would have preferred to pick up emo but fatty was above him so she decided to pick him up.

She sat down and lent over to pick him up

'I wouldn't pick up fatty' said Naruto 'he bites...'

Hinata decided that she didn't want to pick up fatty any more, she worked on getting emo

'actually I think it was emo that bites' said Sasuke

Naruto scratched his head cutely

'you know I cant actually remember..'

Hinata all of a sudden didn't want to pick up any of them

'I suggest you try emo at least he won't try to kill you'

'do I have to?' she asked

'yes. We aren't leaving till you do'

Hinata decided that it would be much easier to pick it up using her byakugan

She could suddenly see it much better and picked it up with no problem

She pulled it out of the water, then emo flopped around a bit and fell out of her hand back into the water.

'ok let's go find Ino and Sakura' Hinata was tired of hanging out with the drunk-ohs and wanted to find the other girls

'ok...' said Sasuke 'let's go!' he ran off in search of the two girls

'uuh Sasuke!' Hinata called out, but he continued running.

'IMMA BEAT YOU!!!' he shouted

'you might want your shirt...' Hinata sweatdropped

Naruto just stood there laughing

'you seem to have sobered up a bit...' said Hinata

'oh please, I've been drinking coke all day' said Naruto with another laugh

----------

**So yeah**

**That was kinda a one-shot**

**Each chapter will just be another thing that happened to them during their day at the beach**

**Haha enjoy**


	2. the dead fish

Ino and Sakura were further down the beach writing things in the sand

_Naruto is gay_

_Hinata loves Naruto_

_Sasuke is the sexy_

_Sasuke loves Ino  
**no he doesn't! he loves Sakura  
**in your dreams forehead_

the whole 'writing things int he sand' had seemed like a good idea until it resulted in a fight

they decided that they had been to mean to Hinata and that they should go find her.

they were on their way to find the others when they decided to abandon that and get food.

**an hour later**

Hinata and Naruto were pissing themselves laughing.

they had found the messages that Ino and Sakura had written but they had been run over by tire marks

and Sasuke -still in his stupor- was outraged for no real reason.

_Naruto is -blank-_

_Hinata loves n -blank-_

_Sasuke is the s -blank-_

_-blank- loves Ino  
__-blank- Sakura!  
-blank- forehead_

eventually Naruto and Hinata got sick of Sasuke and agreed to rewrite them

_Naruto is **the future hokage, BELIEVE IT!**_

_Hinata loves _nobody

_Sasuke is the SHOE MASTER!_

**_Ino loves  
Sakura's  
forehead_**

they all had a good chuckle and walked back to the other part of the beach

**meanwhile Ino and Sakura were...**

meanwhile Ino and Sakura were walking back from getting food, trying to find Hinata, Sasuke and Naruto.

well not so much Naruto.

and frankly, they were surprised when they saw a shirtless Sasuke running towards them, arms outstretched.

but hey, they weren't complaining. they both graceously accepted the hug.

'hey there babes. how's it hanging?' Sasuke slurred.

'uuuh are you drunk?' asked Sakurs

'no way. Uchiha's not drunk' two seconds after that statement Sasuke fell over.

Sakura and Ino both stared down at Sasuke. this was _soooo_ wrong!

not that they didn't like it.. he was shirtess for godsake!

but this was _Sasuke_ and Sasuke doesn't go around falling over.

'NARUTO!' they both screamed

a few seconds later Naruto and Hinata came running towards them just as Sasuke got up.

'NARUTO!' Sasuke shouted 'it's my best buddy!'

Ino, Sakura, Hinata and Naruto just kinda stared at him for a while.

'What have you guys been up to?' asked Hinata

'just walking around... hanging out' answered Sakura

'We saw the stuff you wrote....' said Naruto

'oh? what stuff...' Ino wasn't exactly good at playing innocent when she was also trying to perve on Sasuke at the same time.

'just the stuff about me being Hokage and...' Naruto was cut off by Sasuke

'IT'S A FISH!' he shouted.

they all stared at him.

then down the the dead puffer fish that had washed up on the shore.

'EWW!' Ino and Sakura both exclaimed as they ran away from the fish.

Nartuto and Hinata just kinda stared at it as Sasuke ran off to the foresty bit next to the beach and came back with a pinecone.

he then proceeded to poke the fish.

'It looks like a bird' said Hinata

'yeah it has a beak' said Naruto

'theres yucky stuff coming from it's butt' said Sasuke

'eww'

'we should bury it' said Naruto

'wha!!? you can't _bury _it! what if some little kid comes and digs it up?' asked Sakura

'as if any one would dig here. theres a dead fish' said Hinata as she started digging a hole with her foot

'well that isn't going to be deep enough' said Sakura and she helped dig with her foot too.

Sasuke had retrieved a rock and was trying to pick the fish up.

'here it comes!' he exclaimed and through the fish onto Sakura's leg.

'OH EM GEE I'M GONNA DIE! AREN'T THESE POISONOUS? AAAAAAH!' she ran into the water in an attemt to wassh away whatever it was while everyone else just had a laugh at her expense.

'ok let's finish burying this fish' said Sasuke

so they finished burying the fish and walked away, waiting for Sakura to notice they had left her there screaming.


End file.
